Tuesday, December 27, 2011

On Death and Grieving

Kayne (middle) with a couple of friends from Upstate NYI
We have recently suffered a terrible loss.  I say "we"--this person wasn't connected with Re:Church in any way, but he was connected quite closely with Daniel and I through the Upstate District NYI (Nazarene youth).  His name was Kayne Erickson and he was just 17 years old.  On Wednesday, December 14, I got a text message saying that he and his sister had been in a car accident and that they needed prayer.  I prayed for their safety and health immediately, and having no other details, kept on preparing for my Zumba class that was scheduled to start in just a few minutes.  I then got a call from a close friend of their family's, telling me just how serious the accident was.  Sparing you the heart-wrenching details, I will just say that his sister was okay but that Kayne did not make it out of the car.  Instead, he went to be in the arms of his Savior that evening.

As I went home (obviously Zumba class was canceled since I couldn't hold myself together), I was left with this unbearable sense of sadness, mostly for his parents who would not see their son graduate high school, go to college, get married, or have his own children.  I was sad for his sister who would continue high school alone.  I was sad for his friends who had this big hole in their lives now.

The next afternoon I joined his church family & his friends for an impromptu "remembering" and candlelight vigil celebrating his life.  Mom, Dad, & sister were still at the hospital and so could not be there.  As I stood there, listening to his friends talk about his smile, his love for people, and his love for Christ, I couldn't help but rejoice in my heart that he had made such an impact on the world around him in such a short time on earth.  With such a mixture of emotions, I then headed over to the hospital to see his family.  I was apprehensive, not having had much direct experience (as a pastor or otherwise) with death and grief.  When I walked into that room, we hugged and cried and looked at pictures and hugged some more.  We exchanged some small talk about other things, and I sat there with them.  I just sat there.  We finally prayed together and I got in my car to drive the hour back to my own house.

Over the next several days, I couldn't sleep at night and couldn't function very well during the day either, heavy with grief for Kayne's family and friends.  Everyone said he was going to make a great impact on the world.  He was thinking maybe he would become a youth pastor to share the love of Christ with more teenagers.  As the day of the funeral came, and we packed into that crowded room (it was standing-room-only long before the funeral was scheduled to begin), I was surprised to feel my heart lift as I heard the testimony of Kayne's life shared by those who knew him and loved him best.  My friend, Kayne's pastor, made sure that Christ was lifted up and Kayne's life of passionately serving Him was highlighted.  No, Kayne was not perfect.  No, God did not take Kayne away because of some pre-planned event.  But God was there that night.  God was there in that car with Kayne, as He gently took his hand and led him to meet his Savior in eternity.  It was a beautiful moment of closure, and although it was sad for those of us left behind to mourn, we can rejoice knowing beyond a doubt where Kayne is now.

What a tribute to a life well-lived.  I have seen first-hand how important it is to cling to what we know, even if our hearts are breaking and we feel like life will never be the same.  God IS faithful.  God does not let us walk through these things alone.  It was such an important reminder for us to realize how precious, and short, life is.  We don't have forever.  We don't have all the time in the world to get our own lives in order, or to make an impact on those around us.  I want to let Kayne encourage me to make the most of every opportunity and live a life of love because of Christ.

As we prepare to begin a new year, let us not forget about these lessons learned from death and grief.  Christ has conquered the grave and death is NOT the end.  We can be secure in that knowledge and do everything we can to share that with those around us!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen!! Heaven is for real! I have been to the gates of Heaven briefly! All I could think was how comfortable I was!!!!!!! I had no thoughts of where I came from. Only of where I wanted to go! It was BEAUTIFUL, AWESOME, WONDEROUS,GLORIOUS, PEACEFUL, I could go on and on! We can have hope and peace. God really, really loves all of His children!!!!

Lucy Hiotis said...

Beautifully worded Amanda. Thank you and Amen. <3

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